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Ask Laurie

Q: Dear Laurie,

What are benoit balls? My psychiatrist wants to know.

Thank you,

Rick

A: Dear Rick,

Could I make these things up? Not if I sat under a tree and thought for a year straight so thanks for writing Rick. And thanks for seeing an inquisitive shrink who's too lazy to look things up on his own.

Before we get started, wanted to let you know I'm adding your Q to my top ten Therapy Topics for Discussion list. It's a list I keep in my wallet in case things get a little dull in.therapy.

So, YOU don't want to know what benoit balls are, right? Just your shrink. Ok, well, here goes and.pass it on:
Benoit balls are balls of increasing size evenly spaced on a string that you tuck away in your (or your partner's) anus. Yes, anus. Then, right when you're about to orgasm, and not a moment before, you gently pull the string thereby releasing the balls uno by uno. Benoit balls come in plastic and metal, from petite to gi-normous.

And I sent this off to Rick for him, I mean his shrink, to contemplate. But that was not the end of the story because Rick wrote back:

"My psychiatrist is shy about using the Internet."

Laurie: Is he shy about using the dictionary, too? I ran "shy about using the Internet" through my shrink decoder ring and got: "my wife monitors all my searches" and "I'm not a real shrink. I just play one in this office I invite you to."

Rick: "Thanks for the info. It sounds like a lot of work, though."

Laurie: Any time. And give a shout out to your shrink for me when you see him, eh? Now, get to work!

Lovingly&logically yours, Laurie