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Q: Hi Laurie, My question is: I am very attracted to a man who is a drifter. He lives in a camper, he works odd jobs, he goes away to plant trees from Dec. - Apr. every year. But he's so funny, sweet, smart and sexy. Am I crazy? Thanks!
A: Dear Crazy Thanks!
My knee-jerk reaction was to pretend I was your mother. I thought, "Oy vaysmeer, my daughter is dating a drifter. My baby yegala (there's some yiddish word that sounds like that and I thought it would sound good here). Then I thought no one writes into LoveLogic to get their mother's opinion; they write their mothers for that (or not). Then I pretended I was your good friend who hadn't seen you in a couple of years and we were corresponding by e-mail. This made me think: What's happened to poor Rita or Crazy Thanks! or whatever your real name is? She used to be so responsible, so level-headed. Last I heard she was diligently working her way up the local chapter of NARAL, volunteering for the blind every Sunday, baking her own fresh blackberry pies...Then I realized I'd been sucked down a moral majority portal and shook myself like a dog to snap out of it. (place subliminal mind control message here: vote for gore--vote for gore or that crud you wrote me about will make your dick fall of--vote for gore--vote for gore...)
I guess the bottom line Crazy Thanks! is this: if you're really connecting from May Jan. with odd man out then you need to pursue the potential. Finding real connection is rare-a-rare-O so snag it when you can. But make sure that's what you're pursuing and not some souped up fantasy woven in la la land. Drifters drift for a reason; they no longer want to be part of society or play by the general rules. That could get old after a while but maybe right now it's different enough to be appealing.
On a more practical side you said he leaves half the year right? If you two fell in love would he stop his tree-planting ways and make an honest women out of you? Then again maybe you're not looking for anything serious or long-term. Where in the world do you find a funny-sweet-smart-sexy camper, odd-job man who plants trees five months a year anyway? While you're on your way to grandma's house? Looking for the three little pigs? In the yellow pages? My god you are resourceful. Too many unanswered questions here obviously but your Q sure beat the hell out of the usual "am I too young for sex" I've been getting bombarded with lately.
The Short Answer: Truth be told I've got a bad ju-ju gut reaction about drifter boy and your enamoration with him (yes, that's not a word). I hear the words "drifter/camper" and my elbow immediately flies behind my head and I start humming the Deliverance theme song in my haid...So if you're at a point in your life where you've got to be a little crazy try at least to be a little safe too like letting someone know when you're drifting out for a rendez-vous. Thanks!
Lovingly and Logically yours, Laurie
P.S. Like it or not, for better or worse I don't (CAN'T) answer everyone's questions so stop getting your (collective) passies in a bunch and bawling about not getting a reply (sorry). Besides chances are your question (or one quite similar) has been answered here already. Scroll away.