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Q: I did something kind of bitchy and my boyfriend then actually called me a "bitch" (!) which, regardless of my behavior, was very hurtful and, I think, way out of line. Since then he's apologized and tried to take back what he said but I can't seem to forgive and forget. What should I do?
Signed: Hurt in Houston
A: Dear Hurt, now pay attention: Good morning class! Today's lesson will be on: RESPONSIBILITY. Can you say R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-whatever. Okay, Miss Hurt, you yourself admit you were acting bitchy and your man friend then called you on it. The old adage: "words will never hurt me", which, by the way, was probably written by a deaf mute, is b.s. as you have experienced and I can attest to. BUT first things first. If you're going to act a certain way, i.e. bitchy, then step up to the plate and take responsibility for it. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction (whatever that means).
So lesson #248 is: if you choose to do something (and life is all about choice) then be prepared for the consequences (good or bad) and suggestion #359 is: try to understand your underlying needs and wants and express them directly instead of acting in a certain way, i.e. in this case bitchy, in the hopes that your mate will read your mind and figure out what the hell it is you really want!
The short answer: accept your boyfriend's heartfelt apology (you were lucky to get it) and stop acting like a bitch.
Lovingly and logically yours, Laurie