Over the years, I've been asked by reporters from various newspapers and magazines such as The Denver Post, Miami Herald, Chicago Tribune, Maxim (I know, Maxim!), Cosmopolitan etc. to write on various love advice related topics. So I do. Then these reporters say, "I love it. Let's do lunch" (minus the lunch part). Yay, right? After waiting 5 (five!) months for the "I love it" article to come out I come to find they have only used one line of mine. And they really only used the gist of that one line. And they took that gist and beat every living ounce of funny out of it. And then they put it in quotes with my name on it (because god knows they don't want credit for the poetry-turned-poop now laying on the page).

And so I present to you some love advice articles (and tips!) prior to bastardization. Enjoy and please email lunch requests here.

Living In (ex's) Lap of Luxury (or squalor) Ain't Living

Nifty Ways to Love Your Leaver (or how to get over getting dumped)

High-tack Dumping - a hierarchy

'Til Dump Do You Part

Crappy Valentine's Day